Finding Joy While Living with a Chronic Condition

For those of us suffering with a chronic medical condition or illness, the following post from The Mighty is a must read. The post discusses the challenges of living a ‘normal’ life when sick or in pain and trying to rise above it to find joy…even if it is for a short period of time. Those who deal with daily chronic conditions are constantly told by our doctors and shrinks that the worst thing we can do is to stay home and do nothing. Many of us learn the hard way that by doing nothing we contribute to the very symptoms we battle causing more pain, depression and worthlessness. For me, I found I was just existing and not living my life and knew I had to find a balance. It has taken me 11+ years to find what works for me ~ a plan allowing me to manage my spinal cord injury so that it doesn’t manage me. Included in my plan is a lot of daily hard work both physical and mental and looking for joy wherever I can. As the post explains, I, too, have received my share of negative comments about ‘not looking sick enough.’ However, I don’t let it bother me since there is no way everyone could possibly understand what I cope with on a daily basis. I have learned no matter what someone is going through, you truly don’t know until you have walked in their shoes. Here’s hoping for a world where we think before we speak, we have compassion for others even when we don’t know their situation and we help to lift each other up. Thank you The Mighty for taking the time to share your thoughts and for allowing me to share it with others.

https://themighty.com/2016/08/why-i-wont-apologize-for-having-fun-while-sick/

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Posted in Depression, Disability, Don't Give Up, Dr. Liar, Finding the joy, Pain, Pain Management, Self Discovery, Spinal Cord Injury | Tagged , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

Negligent Neurosurgeons

Those of you who have been reading My Unplanned Life know how I feel about negligent doctors. You also know it has taken me a long time to accept my spinal cord injury and forgive the lying neurosurgeon who dramatically changed my life. Needless to say, when a friend sent me an article about a neurosurgeon in Plano, Texas, who is being sued, I was quickly taken back to my own personal experience.

The article explains how Dr. Christopher Duntsch with Baylor Regional Medical Center botched spinal treatments and surgeries and only after a patient died did the hospital begin to look into his troubled past. Years earlier, Dr. Duntsch was asked to resign from a Dallas hospital due to the fact he was “an egomaniac, mentally ill, an alcoholic, drug addict or a combination thereof.” Despite knowing this information, Baylor Plano hired Dr. Duntsch with a $50,000+ a month salary. Soon after, Dr. Duntsch was caught several times using drugs prior to operating, but it was never reported. Sadly, Dr. Duntsch’s list of negligent surgeries (the total is now up to 38 incidents), drug and alcohol use are still surfacing. Last year, a medical board spokeswoman characterized Dr. Duntsch’s case as one of the most “egregious” ever in Texas involving a neurosurgeon. Lawsuits have been filed against Dr. Duntsch and Baylor Health Care System.

Dr. Duntsch should have never been hired by Baylor or any other hospital. And, why wasn’t an investigation done once Dr. Duntsch began making mistakes? It seems medical institutions will only take action when lawsuits are filed or someone dies. Isn’t it time for doctors, as well as hospitals, to be held accountable for mistakes and when they hire and promote those who are unfit? Until this takes place (and it’s unlikely it ever will), those considering surgery or any other medical procedure MUST research/investigate physicians and hospitals. Patient reviews on most doctors may be found at http://www.vitals.com and http://www.heathgrades.com, or by simply typing in the name of the doctor or medical facility.

My heart is extremely heavy for the patients and families who trusted Dr. Duntsch and Baylor Health Care System. However, now that their story is being told, I pray they are a step closer in the healing process.

Please click on the link for more updated information on Dr. Duntsch (as of September 15, 2015): http://www.naturalnews.com/051173_Neurosurgeon_Dallas_Duntsch.html

©My Unplanned Life and http://www.shakinguplife.wordpress.com, 2014.

Posted in Dr. Liar, Spinal Cord Injury | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

More Than We Can Handle?

Every now and then I read a fellow bloggers post that I know I need to share. This is one of my new favorites. While I have neglected writing posts for my blog lately, I promise to do better during this new year. Until then, I feel this post is worthy of your valuable time. 

http://lemmonythings.wordpress.com/2014/01/05/god-will-give-you-more-than-you-can-handle-i-guarantee-it/

Posted in Faith, God, Self Discovery | Tagged , , , , | 4 Comments

Me and My Shadow

Yesterday I said goodbye to the most wonderful dog in the world. My heart is heavy, the house lonely and I feel as if I have lost my best friend.

My daughter and I adopted Belle, a small Rat Terrier, from the local Humane Society in Virginia (the town where we now live). Belle had been previously adopted, but was returned since she was unable to be housebroken. I learned she preferred a schedule and with that she learned quickly.

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Driving to Pennsylvania the first time with Belle was quite the event. She barked at every tractor-trailer during the entire eight-hour trip. Belle settled in nicely and we quickly bonded. She was a happy dog and full of energy. She loved the wildlife and kept ‘predators’ from entering the yard. She loved chasing squirrels, chipmunks and playing with our neighbor’s dog Jade.  She loved being in the middle of things. She slept with me every night…burrowing at the foot of the bed by my feet. She was a great companion, watchdog and foot warmer. She followed me wherever I would go, waited at the door for me to return home, loved walks and was quite the entertainer. She loved removing labels off of plastic bottles and chasing balls…the bigger the better! I am so thankful we videotaped her playtime.

During her younger years, Belle swallowed a mouse (whole). I called the vet immediately and was told, “No worries, she will eliminate it properly,” which she did (whole). A few years later my daughter’s babysitter called informing me Belle had eaten an entire bag of Hersey’s Kisses, including the wrappers.  I called the vet and was told to give her hydrogen peroxide every 15 minutes so she would throw up. I was an hour from home so the responsibility fell to our babysitter. I was quickly informed that I didn’t pay her enough money to deal with situations like this. Needless to say, her Christmas check was a bit larger (thank you Kim for all your extra effort!).

Belle mellowed, as she got older, but still a constant companion and never a dull moment. She was happiest when she was with people. At 13 pounds, she was easy to carry and loved going places. She loved my husband and accepted him into our family. She had a few medical problems as she aged, but thankfully nothing that couldn’t be treated with medication. She didn’t exactly welcome our new rescue dog with open paws, but she tolerated him. When no humans were around he was her best friend.

Following my spinal cord injury, Belle knew something was wrong and never left my side. When I was at my lowest point, she laid next to me wagging her tail and letting me know she needed me…injury and all. I am grateful she was there when others turned their backs. Belle showed unconditional love every day and gave me a reason to get out of bed and get better.

When our family relocated to Virginia three years ago, she adjusted nicely.  However, her body began to give her problems. Two years ago we purchased a ‘wheelchair’ to help her get around. She wasn’t a big fan, but she knew it helped. As time passed, she wasn’t strong enough to use the assistive device, so we carried her when needed and she was grateful for the help. She required a lot of attention, but no one complained (especially Belle). She accepted her disabilities better than I did. She worked hard and I encouraged her as she did me following my injury. She walked laps around the yard on her good days; and on the not so good days, she rested. There were times when she would show a bit of spunk – chasing our other dog or just wanting to play. She continued to follow me everywhere! She could be in a deep sleep and as soon as I moved, she did too. Even at age 18, she amazed us with her fighting spirit. As she became frail, I always told Belle to let me know when it was her time to go. I said this to her since I knew making this decision would be difficult.

Yesterday my husband woke up and Belle wasn’t acting like herself. He took her outside and she immediately fell down in the grass. She began crying out and was losing control of her bodily functions. She could no longer see and was working hard to breathe.

We left immediately for the vet, whom she saw monthly. The tearful veterinarian entered the room; she knew why we were there. She examined Belle and said her vital organs were shutting down and she wouldn’t make it through the day. Belle continued to cry out, which I knew was the sign I had asked for. None of us wanted her to suffer any longer. She was surrounded by those who loved her as she took her last breath and quietly slipped away.

I miss Belle more than I could ever explain; my heart is heavy. As a Christian, I know she is in a better place…running freely and no longer in pain. The hard part is everywhere I turn I keep expecting to see her or hear her bark. There is an emptiness, sadness and a longing for my friend. It’s as if my shadow has disappeared.

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A special thanks to Tina Hicks, 39 Design, for the wonderful professional photos of Belle. I treasure them now more than ever.

©My Unplanned Life and http://www.shakinguplife.wordpress.com, 2013.

Posted in Dr. Liar, Self Discovery, Spinal Cord Injury | Tagged , , , , | 5 Comments

Turning back time

“It has been said, ‘time heals all wounds.’ I do not agree. The wounds remain. In time, the mind, protecting its sanity, covers them with scar tissue and the pain lessens. But it is never gone.” ~Rose Kennedy

The lingering effects of my spinal cord injury continue to plague my life and me. In fact, as the eighth ‘anniversary’ of my injury quickly approaches, I am feeling as if Dr. Liar continues to win this ongoing battle.

“This is caused by your spinal cord injury and there is little to nothing we can do,” are the words I have grown accustomed to hearing over and over from new as well as old doctors. And all I want to ask is “Why me?” I feel as if I am on a sinking ship and there are no lifeboats. I honestly hate feeling this way since I am a glass-half full kind of girl.

Why does Dr. Liar always get the best of me? Why do I always remember June 22? I have forgiven the lying neurosurgeon who changed the course of my life and then did everything he could to save his career, including committing perjury on the witness stand. Why am I given new medical problems that continue to remind me of the severity of my spinal cord injury and the damage done to my body?

I have been especially good to my body during the past year. I have lost 115 pounds by eating healthy and doing aquatic physical therapy. My blood work has improved and my Endocrinologist recently took me off of diabetes medication. I have detoxed my body from the harmful steroids and chemicals my body was consumed with causing Cushing’s syndrome, another medical condition attributed to the spinal cord injury. Now, the only ‘hope’ doctors can offer me are the toxins my body resists. So I am damned if I do and damned if I don’t.

When I was growing up and I used to wish for certain things, my Mom would always say, “Wishing is good time wasted.” However, for a change, I want to waste a bit of time. After all, I think I deserve it. So here goes: I wish I could turn back time where I would have never met Dr. Liar, never had surgery for a herniated disc and never had a spinal cord injury. I simply wish to be normal and live a normal life. Is it too much to ask?

During my time here on Earth I have definitely learned life is not fair and no one said it was going to be. I get that. Spinal cord injury and all, I don’t go around feeling sorry for myself. In fact, it takes A LOT to bring me down. Maybe it’s the time of the year adding insult to injury; maybe I have had enough. Whatever the case, I do think I am allowed a bit of self-pity time…at least an hour or two?

It amazes me how certain things in this complex world advance in record speeds, but when it comes to medical research it moves at a tortoise pace. My neuroscientist friend jumps through hoops for grants and funding and he is working to cure the problems those of us with spinal cord injuries deal with on a daily basis. However, even with the proper funding, medical advances seem far off in the future. Endless if you ask a patient.

And, when medical advances are made, insurance company obstacles are presenting yet another challenge. A simple non-invasive treatment I received for the past seven years previously paid for by my insurance company is now not covered by that very same insurance company. With no notice, no warning they simply began to deny coverage. Instead, they would prefer me to consider a more invasive procedure. I have appealed the insurance company’s decision twice and now have asked for an independent review. I bet I can predict the outcome.

I know in time I will put this latest setback behind me and see the silver lining once again. It would be easy to pine away, be depressed and give up; however, wouldn’t I be giving Dr. Liar full control of my mental health? I know I am a kinder and wiser person than he will ever hope to be. I may not be who I was eight years ago, in fact, I don’t know if I would recognize her. I also may have medical conditions I never dreamed of, but I am able to look at myself in the mirror and be proud of the life I have lived despite the multiple setbacks. At least that is what my mind is telling me…now if only I could just convince my heart.

©My Unplanned Life and http://www.shakinguplife.wordpress.com, 2013.

Posted in Depression, Disability, Dr. Liar, Pain, Self Discovery, Spinal Cord Injury, Time Heals All Wounds | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , | 19 Comments

Getting REAL about food

“Preserve and treat food as you would your body, remembering that in time food will be your body.” ~B.W. Richardson

I can’t believe I am going to write this, but here it goes…being diagnosed with Gastroparesis (or GP for short) has been more of a blessing than a curse. A shocking statement I know. While GP has its challenges, what it is teaching me about REAL food and the benefits of eating healthy and balancing a supportive lifestyle far out-weighs the negative problems. I must add that my GP problems aren’t life threatening and I have so much respect for those who have more advance GP problems.

Gastroparesis is a difficult condition to manage when you are trying to lose weight and especially when you are diabetic. Those with GP can’t have fiber (or very little), but may have carbohydrates. Therefore, I was faced with a difficult challenge and no expert in our immediate area who knew about the condition. I was blessed when I found Crystal Saltrelli, a Certified Health Counselor, who was diagnosed with GP, learned more about condition and wrote a book so she could help others (www.livingwellwithgastroparesis.com). She teaches those with GP ways to live, eat, cook, and how to develop a comprehensive management plan. While it has taken months to develop my plan, thanks to Crystal and my endocrinologist, I have my plan in place. GP is an individualized program – what works for one person may not work for another, and it is constantly changing.

The GP diet consists of lots of juicing, puree vegetables and if you are one of the lucky people, a few solid foods. Following several months of eating and drinking things the consistency of baby food, my taste buds changed. I never knew the preservatives, additives and other junk in our foods could make such a difference in how foods taste, or rather what they do to alter the taste. I discovered I felt better when I decreased the amount of gluten I ate. While I don’t have Celiac Disease, my digestive system works more efficiently when I limit the amount of gluten I eat. After all, gluten is a protein composite found in foods processed from wheat and related grain species. Simply put, it’s what makes food stick together. Eating a gluten-free diet, or limiting gluten-free foods is easier now then it was a decade ago. I began searching for GP-friendly, low carb, easy to prepare recipes. And for those of you who don’t know me…I hate to cook, but it was something I had to do for my health.

Following a lot of researching, I found food blogger Carol Kicinski (www.Simply Gluten-Free.com). Carol’s recipes are varied so I was able to pick GP-friendly foods. I also like her cookbooks since she includes shortcuts, which makes it easier on my neck since looking down is a problem as well as having limited feeling in my right hand and arm (makes cutting and chopping things challenging!). While many of her recipes aren’t low in carbs, I found if I eat healthy whole foods, my carb intake doesn’t seem to matter, or at least my blood sugar is stabilized.

Once I began feeling better and learned more about whole foods, I began researching more about clean eating. Clean eating is based on the idea that the best way to eat is to enjoy whole foods — that is, foods as close to their natural state as you can get them. This means eating fresh fruits and vegetables, whole grains and lean proteins instead of pre-packaged, processed foods or fast food. Clean eating is a commitment to replacing saturated fats with healthy fats. However, be careful, once you experiment with clean eating and no longer eat high fructose corn syrup, refined oil, and MSG, your taste buds will change and you will no longer be able to tolerate fast foods, soda, or any other foods you may have enjoyed in the past. Your body will thank you by giving you more energy, becoming stronger and healthier.

I have learned to love REAL food again. And while GP limits many of the things I am able to eat, I am also enjoying experimenting with foods to help with different medical problems. It is amazing what good quality organic spices, herbs, fruits and vegetables can do for many common medical conditions. I like to say I am cooking myself to better health! About halfway during this process I stopped being concerned about the weight and more about my health. It was then when I really began to lose weight, my blood work improved and I was able to go off of several medications. Isn’t it funny how that happens?

©My Unplanned Life and http://www.shakinguplife.wordpress.com, 2013

Posted in battling with losing weight, Disability, Dr. Liar, Gastroparesis, Self Discovery, Spinal Cord Injury | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

Getting REAL about weight loss: how I lost 105 lbs

No matter where I go these days, people ask me how much weight I have lost. I am proud to say I have lost 105 pounds! Many immediately want to know if I had weight loss surgery or if I had joined Weight Watchers or one of the other assisted weight loss programs. I proudly say I lost each and every pound on my own. While I still have 20 more pounds to lose, I thought I would use My Unplanned Life and a series of posts to share what worked for me as well as what I have learned about medication, food, exercise and the importance of paying attention to the way we treat our bodies. I have battled with my weight for several decades and believe as Maya Angelou says “when we know better, we do better.”

I remember the exact moment when I ‘got real’ with myself about losing weight. I was at an appointment with my Internist soon after I had been in the hospital with an a-fib and flutter problem. We were talking about my recent weight gain and he said, “We should probably talk about gastric bypass since you aren’t able to exercise like most people.” The words ‘most people’ struck me. Wasn’t I like most people…just because I have a spinal cord injury did that make me an exception? My second thought was people in wheel chairs are able to exercise…what is wrong with me?

The next day I woke up still thinking about the appointment and knew my current doctors, as well as the doctors in my past, were contributing to me feeling sorry for myself. I needed to own up to ME…spinal cord injury and all or I was going to have to consider weight loss surgery. I sat down and made a promise to myself with some specific goals and a timeline. I knew what to do…I just had to get it done.

The first and most important step in my weight loss quest was finding a new doctor, which is what I did – an endocrinologist, who I have written about in past posts. While I wasn’t thrilled about adding another doctor to my ever-growing list, I knew I needed someone different and new. Dr. U. certainly was like no one I had ever seen. Endocrinologist diagnose and treat hormone imbalances and problems by helping to restore the normal balance of hormones in your body. It’s my opinion every person should see an endocrinologist at some point since our hormones can easily be thrown off-balance and we may never know it. I knew my endocrine system had to be out of whack since my body had been through so much. If I have learned anything though this process is that our bodies do tell us things but we often choose not to listen.

Dr. U. immediately discovered some things in my blood work other doctors missed. I had Cushing’s syndrome from all the steroids I had been given during the last seven years and was diabetic. My body had also been under so much stress from the Dr. Liar court case and from all the medical problems since the injury. I needed to detox my body and not allow any of my doctors to use steroids of any type in my treatment plan. I knew it was going to be difficult since steroids were used to help in my pain management, but it had to be done. I also took a four-week class on how to manage diabetes.

In addition, every six months I had and continue to have blood work done, including my thyroid, vitamin B-12, iron, Complete Metabolic and Lipid Panels, Cortisol, ACTH as well as any other tests that may be needed. I take supplements and adjust my diet based on the findings of my blood work. I also have a sluggish thyroid, but have known about that since I was in my late 20’s. I manage that with medication.

I knew I had to find some type of exercise I could at least tolerate and could do with my injury without increasing my pain. With those limitations in mind I talked with my physical therapist about how I used to enjoy swimming. While I couldn’t imagine putting on a bathing suit, I swallowed my pride; bought two with the longest skirts I could find and began walking in our neighborhood pool in the evening with my husband. We walked and talked and the weeks turned into months. I found I loved being in the water and by the end of the summer I was signed up for aquatic physical therapy. The chore of exercising was suddenly something I really enjoyed and the days when I didn’t go to the pool…I missed it. Before I knew it, I was feeling healthier and stronger and the scale was beginning to move in the right direction for a change. Talk about being motivated.

Coming up…Getting REAL about food

©My Unplanned Life and http://www.shakinguplife.wordpress.com, 2013

Posted in Disability, Dr. Liar, Self Discovery, Spinal Cord Injury, staying motivated while losing weight | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 10 Comments

Am I Becoming Jaded?

I like to think of myself as fair-minded. I usually give others the benefit of the doubt. I try not to form opinions and make judgments. However, I am finding that harder to do and I don’t like the person I am becoming.

During the last few weeks I had three different situations occur and each has been very troubling. Like each of you, I don’t like to be lied to and taken advantage of. Is it just me, or does it seem with these changing times that society appears to be getting greedier and more people seem to be out to get others? Or, are we in such a hurry that mistakes are simply being made?

For Valentine’s Day I ordered a brass necklace for my daughter from Etsy, an online web site that markets itself as the premier site for artists of all things homemade. The ‘artist’ describes the item I ordered as brass and includes a picture. What I received was far from being brass. In fact, it was plastic and was only brass in color. I wrote to the ‘artist,’ asked for my money to be returned and after about a week I didn’t get a response. I reported the transaction to Etsy and only then did I get a response. However, a month later I still haven’t received a refund even though I have returned the item.

I also ordered a Pandora charm from an E-bay seller who ranked high in sales and feedback. When I won, I paid for the item and it arrived a few days ago. The item was far from being authentic Pandora and it doesn’t fit my bracelet. I have contacted the seller and have once again asked for a refund.

These items were not substantial in price, but this weekend, my husband and I had an incident occur that was a bigger dollar item. This situation occurred at a store where each of you may shop…the store next door. Let’s just say it starts with a ‘W’ and ends with a ‘mart’. After an extensive Internet research, my husband placed an order for Goodyear Assurance tires for my my minivan and paid with our credit card. The big-box store sent a message indicating the tires had arrived and to make an appointment. Saturday afternoon my husband took the van and receipt with him to the appointment. The receipt indicated the purchase and the type of tire – all four of them.

While waiting for the tires to be mounted, my husband ran a few errands and shopped at the big-box store. Two and a half hours later (much longer than the hour quoted), he left. Once he arrived at his next destination, he looked more closely at the tires and noticed they weren’t the Goodyear Assurance tires we paid for but Goodyear Viva tires priced at half the cost and rated lower. We later learned these are the tires the big-box store sells and installs regularly.

My husband went back to the store and complained. The manager of the Auto Service Department indicated it was a mistake and the technician simply pulled the wrong tires; however, what if we had never checked? What would have happened to the tires and the additional money we paid? The big-box store apologized, but how do mistakes like this occur? Is there no quality control? What if this was their vehicle or money?

If this situation had occurred in and of itself I would have not given it a second thought. Maybe it’s the sign of the times; maybe I have a short fuse. Am I just getting older, am I jaded? Why do we have to double check each and everything we purchase? Why do sellers think we won’t return items if they have a return policy? And, do they not care if we report them to the hosting sites or the Better Business Bureau? Have we gotten so far away from good customer service that it doesn’t matter? Have the big-box stores gotten so large that we all are just numbers who contribute to their ever growing bottom line? If so, I would rather shop at smaller, local stores and pay more money and be known by my first name and be treated with a warm smile and friendly hello. Maybe this situation was a reminder as to what I already knew, but had forgotten.

Like so many of you, I don’t like the way things are going in this world. I try to surround myself with positive people and an upbeat environment, but admit it’s getting more difficult. My medical situation requires I manage my stress, if not, my pain level increases. In addition, I am struggling with Gastroparesis, which I wrote about in early January. If I don’t also manage my food…it manages me.

Maybe I am a bit naïve. I like to believe most people are good and aren’t out to get you. However, in my latest transactions, I have been shown the opposite. I am very disappointed lately…in people, companies, but also in me. I didn’t used to be this way. How can I be more trusting? I don’t know where to begin. I believe we should all get back to Jesus’ Sermon on the Mount: “Therefore all things whatsoever ye would that men should do to you, do ye even so to them: for this is the law and the prophets.” Matthew 7:12 KJV. In other words, simply live the Golden Rule. I believe it may solve many of the today’s problems. I am willing to give it a shot…how about you?

©My Unplanned Life and http://www.shakinguplife.wordpress.com, 2013

Posted in Disability, Don't Give Up, Faith, Self Discovery | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 9 Comments

To H., Love, M.

“Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.” ~Lao Tzu

Valentine’s Day is a special day for my husband and me especially this year since it’s our 10th wedding anniversary. For many, 10 years is not a long time for couples our age. However, based on the statistics, it’s a remarkable amount of time since 50 percent of marriages end in divorce.

We both had wonderful role models. My husband’s parents have been married for 52 years and mine 57 years. Both have shown us what it takes to keep a marriage together, raise a family and fathers with careers and mothers who were homemakers. Today, they continue to love and live the vows taken many years ago.

While my husband and I won’t celebrate such monumental anniversaries, we are thrilled to reach this double-digit occasion! And, on this special Valentine’s Day, it is my hope and prayer that my husband knows how much his love, patience and unwavering support has meant. While I know our life isn’t the one he would have selected given the chance, I admire and respect him for sticking around following my spinal cord injury. As I have written previously, I wouldn’t have blamed him if he had wanted to run. However, he didn’t and I thank God each and every day for bringing him into my life and for giving him strength, courage and the ability to go on no matter what.

While I was thinking about what to write for my Valentine’s Day post, I heard Celine Dion’s song Because You Loved Me. While I have heard the song numerous times, for some reason I really listened to the lyrics and realized what a powerful song it truly is. And, when I tried to write my own message, the song kept replaying in my head as if these were the perfect words. So, on this day when most are celebrating love (and on our 10th anniversary), I would like the words of this beautiful song to serve as a love letter to my husband since he was there for me during the times when I had lost all faith in myself.

It is my hope each of you will experience the type of love and respect I have for my husband ~ it is a blessing some people never have and one I don’t take for granted.

To H:

For all those times you stood by me
For all the truth that you made me see
For all the joy you brought to my life
For all the wrong that you made right
For every dream you made come true
For all the love I found in you
I’ll be forever thankful baby
You’re the one who held me up
Never let me fall
You’re the one who saw me through, through it all

You were my strength when I was weak
You were my voice when I couldn’t speak
You were my eyes when I couldn’t see
You saw the best there was in me
Lifted me up when I couldn’t reach
You gave me faith ’cause you believed
I’m everything I am
Because you loved me

You gave me wings and made me fly
You touched my hand I could touch the sky
I lost my faith, you gave it back to me
You said no star was out of reach
You stood by me and I stood tall
I had your love I had it all
I’m grateful for each day you gave me
Maybe I don’t know that much
But I know this much is true
I was blessed because I was loved by you

You were my strength when I was weak
You were my voice when I couldn’t speak
You were my eyes when I couldn’t see
You saw the best there was in me
Lifted me up when I couldn’t reach
You gave me faith ’cause you believed
I’m everything I am
Because you loved me

You were always there for me
The tender wind that carried me
The light in the dark shining your love into my life
You’ve been my inspiration
Through the lies you were the truth
My world is a better place because of you

You were my strength when I was weak
You were my voice when I couldn’t speak
You were my eyes when I couldn’t see
You saw the best there was in me
Lifted me up when I couldn’t reach
You gave me faith ’cause you believed
I’m everything I am
Because you loved me

Love,
M.

©My Unplanned Life and http://www.shakinguplife.wordpress.com, 2013

Posted in Being Thankful, Dr. Liar, God, Self Discovery, Spinal Cord Injury | Tagged , , , , , , | 3 Comments

While working on a post for Valentine’s Day and my husband and my upcoming 10th wedding anniversary, I was reading through some of my past posts. I also noticed the blog celebrated it’s second anniversary, which seems unreal when thinking about all that has occurred and how I have changed during the last few years. I will be posting later this week, but thought this particular post was important enough to reblog. Enjoy!

My Unplanned Life...

On Valentine’s Day my husband and I celebrated our ninth wedding anniversary. We were unable to celebrate in the usual fashion since once again I am on a new medication and having some difficulties with the side effects. That evening we retreated to the family room, each in our favorite chair with laptops in place. In my most romantic flannel pajamas and wrapped up in my favorite blanket we watched a movie, which title escapes me. My husband continued his quest to find a job since he was downsized at the end of last year. Not the most romantic way to spend Valentine’s Day or our anniversary, but we decided we would make up for later when I was feeling better. I remember thinking I was so tired of this excuse, but I sure was lucky my husband was so understanding.

My husband was the one who wanted to get…

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