Am I Becoming Jaded?

I like to think of myself as fair-minded. I usually give others the benefit of the doubt. I try not to form opinions and make judgments. However, I am finding that harder to do and I don’t like the person I am becoming.

During the last few weeks I had three different situations occur and each has been very troubling. Like each of you, I don’t like to be lied to and taken advantage of. Is it just me, or does it seem with these changing times that society appears to be getting greedier and more people seem to be out to get others? Or, are we in such a hurry that mistakes are simply being made?

For Valentine’s Day I ordered a brass necklace for my daughter from Etsy, an online web site that markets itself as the premier site for artists of all things homemade. The ‘artist’ describes the item I ordered as brass and includes a picture. What I received was far from being brass. In fact, it was plastic and was only brass in color. I wrote to the ‘artist,’ asked for my money to be returned and after about a week I didn’t get a response. I reported the transaction to Etsy and only then did I get a response. However, a month later I still haven’t received a refund even though I have returned the item.

I also ordered a Pandora charm from an E-bay seller who ranked high in sales and feedback. When I won, I paid for the item and it arrived a few days ago. The item was far from being authentic Pandora and it doesn’t fit my bracelet. I have contacted the seller and have once again asked for a refund.

These items were not substantial in price, but this weekend, my husband and I had an incident occur that was a bigger dollar item. This situation occurred at a store where each of you may shop…the store next door. Let’s just say it starts with a ‘W’ and ends with a ‘mart’. After an extensive Internet research, my husband placed an order for Goodyear Assurance tires for my my minivan and paid with our credit card. The big-box store sent a message indicating the tires had arrived and to make an appointment. Saturday afternoon my husband took the van and receipt with him to the appointment. The receipt indicated the purchase and the type of tire – all four of them.

While waiting for the tires to be mounted, my husband ran a few errands and shopped at the big-box store. Two and a half hours later (much longer than the hour quoted), he left. Once he arrived at his next destination, he looked more closely at the tires and noticed they weren’t the Goodyear Assurance tires we paid for but Goodyear Viva tires priced at half the cost and rated lower. We later learned these are the tires the big-box store sells and installs regularly.

My husband went back to the store and complained. The manager of the Auto Service Department indicated it was a mistake and the technician simply pulled the wrong tires; however, what if we had never checked? What would have happened to the tires and the additional money we paid? The big-box store apologized, but how do mistakes like this occur? Is there no quality control? What if this was their vehicle or money?

If this situation had occurred in and of itself I would have not given it a second thought. Maybe it’s the sign of the times; maybe I have a short fuse. Am I just getting older, am I jaded? Why do we have to double check each and everything we purchase? Why do sellers think we won’t return items if they have a return policy? And, do they not care if we report them to the hosting sites or the Better Business Bureau? Have we gotten so far away from good customer service that it doesn’t matter? Have the big-box stores gotten so large that we all are just numbers who contribute to their ever growing bottom line? If so, I would rather shop at smaller, local stores and pay more money and be known by my first name and be treated with a warm smile and friendly hello. Maybe this situation was a reminder as to what I already knew, but had forgotten.

Like so many of you, I don’t like the way things are going in this world. I try to surround myself with positive people and an upbeat environment, but admit it’s getting more difficult. My medical situation requires I manage my stress, if not, my pain level increases. In addition, I am struggling with Gastroparesis, which I wrote about in early January. If I don’t also manage my food…it manages me.

Maybe I am a bit naïve. I like to believe most people are good and aren’t out to get you. However, in my latest transactions, I have been shown the opposite. I am very disappointed lately…in people, companies, but also in me. I didn’t used to be this way. How can I be more trusting? I don’t know where to begin. I believe we should all get back to Jesus’ Sermon on the Mount: “Therefore all things whatsoever ye would that men should do to you, do ye even so to them: for this is the law and the prophets.” Matthew 7:12 KJV. In other words, simply live the Golden Rule. I believe it may solve many of the today’s problems. I am willing to give it a shot…how about you?

©My Unplanned Life and, 2013


About mswd

I am an individual living with a spinal cord injury. How the injury occurred, how I found out how severe my injury was and how my planned life suddenly became 'unplanned' is included in this blog. Also included is how the injury has tested my family and me. I believe you will discover it has been both a mentally and physically challenging ordeal and I learned a few lessons along the way. While I am still defining my life’s purpose since the injury, I have uncovered those who are injured, live with pain or have other obstacles to navigate are never able to escape. However, come with me as I explore ways to improve my life, learn to live with multiple neurological conditions, educate others and look for the silver lining. I believe with a little willpower, my caring family and God's guidance I will learn to forgive, hopefully forget how I was treated and dismissed by a doctor and uncover life's new purpose. I pray for painfree days and answers to questions that keep swirling through my mind. I also pray for a cure for neurological conditions and for the doctors to treat their patients with respect. Welcome to my journey. I would love to hear about yours!
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9 Responses to Am I Becoming Jaded?

  1. I don’t think you are becoming jaded. You are aware of where your money goes and what you are paying for it. Holding someone to an agreement is not being jaded. If you were the seller of those items and made an honest mistake you would want the chance to right it (like you gave all of them the chance), and if you were the dishonest type trying to get away with something, you needed to be informed the buyer wasn’t going to be abused by you. Good for you.

    I love the Golden Rule. And I think you lived it each time you held someone accountable for their agreement with you, because if it was you doing the selling, you would have wanted to correct your error.

    • mswd says:

      Thank you for your encouraging words Colleen ~ you always make me feel better when I write a post complaining or do a bit of whining! I was at wit’s end and had to do what I do best (sometimes)…write! Some people scream, others clean, some bake…I WRITE! I feel better and I appreciate your kind words. I knew you would understand. I don’t usually get worked up about money; however, after the three separate events…I was kind of mad. I feel better today. Thank you again for taking the time to post a message. I don’t know how you do all that you do. 🙂

      • I think sometimes in our desires to be ‘good’ people we forget that that does not mean we can’t be good to ourselves. It’s not like you were cruel or unreasonable.

        I think I ‘do’ what I do now, because I feel like I wasted so much time earlier in life…not doing nearly what I could have been. 😦

        I do relate to you about the writing. It sure does help!!!! 🙂

      • mswd says:

        I know what you mean…so much time wasted and now trying to get it all done; however, isn’t it fun? Oftentimes people don’t figure it out until it’s too late! We are the lucky ones! 🙂 And, you are right, neither hubby or I handled ourselves inappropriately or rudely…in all three cases, we told the truth and backed it up with facts. The sellers were in the wrong. I am done beating myself up. Thank you again for your kind words!

      • Most welcome! 🙂

  2. Judith Richwine says:

    My first time to join this type of conversation. I found you here after we met at therapy. I feel so strongly about your comments about the Golden Rule. It’ll just work ANYWHERE ! BTW we have found that York Tire on the way to WP, on the right, across from the first gas on the left, is a good, fair place to purchase. Too late for this set but FYI. Hope that when porch sitting weather returns, you’ll come join us some time. J

    Sent from my iPad

    • mswd says:

      Judy ~ what a nice surprise to read your message! Thank you so much for reading the blog and for taking time to write. I have enjoyed getting to know you at therapy and it’s good to see the both of us making progress! I also thank you for the tire advice ~ I have made a note of it since my husband will need tires soon. I have learned my lesson and will go back to giving our money to local businesses! Looking forward to seeing you at the WC and hoping we have time for a chat…although the front porch chat sounds more relaxing — I would love it! 😉 Thank you again!

  3. No idea how I managed to stumble across this post but I’m glad that I have.

    I find myself irritated more and more often regarding this subject. Strangely though, it is not the seller who irritates me but the buyer.
    Sellers will always try and pull a fast one. I don’t agree with it or appreciated it but such has always been the nature of the consumer market.
    I am irritated when I listen to people complaining about being ‘stitched up’ after they have failed to use the return policies and legal system to their advantage. The reason sellers get away with scandalous service is simply because the buying public let them.

    Anyway, just happened to be something I have been thinking about recently and you happened to touch on it.
    I don’t think you are becoming jaded, the opposite. Those who are tired and unenthusiastic are the ones who lie down and accept misrepresentation.

    Maybe I am just becoming grumpy!

    • mswd says:

      Thank you for taking the time to read my post and leave a comment ~ I really appreciate it! You are so right, oftentimes, the public fails to demand anything other than exceptional service or goods. Maybe we are too busy or distracted. Whatever it is, we need to speak up! I had another incident occur and this one left my daughter and me stranded without a rental car and no way to get home! I will be writing about it soon! Thank you again for your message! 🙂

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