The Telephone Call

It’s all a bit overwhelming I must admit
Being the one who is always sick
The big decisions in my life
Are when or if to go under the knife
I smile, joke, not let others know
I keep it light by often just saying hello
It’s been so long why do I still suffer?
Or has time just made it all tougher?
I admit I put on a good front
Have even learned how to walk with my cane doing a few stunts
Soon to be seven years makes you an expert at so much
Even the days when I don’t want to be touched
Legs, arms, hands, wrist and neck are numb, swollen and stabbing
And oftentimes move around as if they were jabbing
Oh, how I want to forget, yes I do
But the constant reminders make it impossible to see it through
I want to scream and shout to myself…”just get over it!”
But newer medical conditions create a deeper and darker pit
I am having trouble finding happiness and joy
Even from my seven-year old nephew who is just the cutest little boy
I finally admitted today my pain was too big, too much for me to handle myself
And took a piece of tattered paper with a telephone number written on it off a shelf
A lady answered the call and as nice as she could be
Said “sweetheart, let’s set up the appointment, I know this doctor will help…just wait and see.”
©My Unplanned Life and, 2012.

About mswd

I am an individual living with a spinal cord injury. How the injury occurred, how I found out how severe my injury was and how my planned life suddenly became 'unplanned' is included in this blog. Also included is how the injury has tested my family and me. I believe you will discover it has been both a mentally and physically challenging ordeal and I learned a few lessons along the way. While I am still defining my life’s purpose since the injury, I have uncovered those who are injured, live with pain or have other obstacles to navigate are never able to escape. However, come with me as I explore ways to improve my life, learn to live with multiple neurological conditions, educate others and look for the silver lining. I believe with a little willpower, my caring family and God's guidance I will learn to forgive, hopefully forget how I was treated and dismissed by a doctor and uncover life's new purpose. I pray for painfree days and answers to questions that keep swirling through my mind. I also pray for a cure for neurological conditions and for the doctors to treat their patients with respect. Welcome to my journey. I would love to hear about yours!
This entry was posted in Depression, Disability, Disappointment, Don't Give Up, Dr. Liar, Finding the joy, Happiness, Joy, Medical Malpractice, Pain, Pain Management, Self Discovery, Spinal Cord Injury, Surgery and tagged , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

5 Responses to The Telephone Call

  1. Reba Nelson says:

    I’ve thought about your plight every day for the past several weeks while going through the horrors of Cymbalta withdrawal: “This is mild compared to what Marsha is enduring.” When I though about Cymbalta’s far reaching, dangerous side effects i said, “What this drug has done to me is unfair but, compared to what Dr. Liar did to Marsha, it is minor..” And yes, I said a prayer for you each time.

    For as long as there has been life it has been unfair and accompanied by pain. Modern American television ads and photoshopped models would make us believe that life can be smooth and flawless. The Word of God says differently: we have an enemy who despises every breath we take and delights in sending us adversity. The intellectual acceptance of this predicament is easy but the subjective experience is not!

    My thoughts and prayers are with you as you grapple your way “up the rough side of the mountain.” Another song lyric comes to mind: “God will make a way where there seems to be no way. He moves in ways we cannot see. He will make a way for me. He will make a way. He WILL make a way.”

    Perhaps you body needs to hear your voice talking to it. Jesus taught about the importance of believing + speaking. I think it is quite possible that the cells in our bodies respond to the Word of God when they hear our voices speaking directly to them.

    Peace, comfort and hope are yours today, in the name of Jesus.

    We are MORE THAN CONQUERORS through Him who loved us.

    1 Corinthians 10:13
    Luke 13:12


    • mswd says:

      Aunt Reba ~ you are such an inspiration and knowing you are praying for me helps ease my pain and burdens. When I look at the big picture and think of those who are in wheelchairs or who have no voice, I want to slap myself silly. There are things I don’t share on the blog for personal reasons and those issues along with the pain seem to be a bit overwhelming at times. However, I know that which doesn’t kill us makes us stronger. When I wrote the post and made the appointment with the new doctor…I was at a personal low. I have since had my first appointment and you are correct…talking with a new person and hearing his take on things is going to help. For some reason God believes I am stronger so the battle continues. I have picked myself up many times before so I will do it once again and as many times as needed. Mother Teresa said it best: “I know God will not give me anything I can’t handle. I just wish He didn’t trust me so much.” Thank you for the Bible verses and the wonderful reminders that I am never alone. I am so blessed to have such a wonderful family and you as a special Aunt! Saying prayers for you as you fight the Cymbalta withdrawal battle. It is painful, but I promise you in the end it will be worth it. So keep fighting the good fight…there is a light at the end of the tunnel! Blessings to you!

  2. Chatter Master says:

    Oh please let this new doctor help you. Good thoughts and prayers being sent your way.

    • mswd says:

      Please forgive my delay. I just posted more about this new doctor who is going to work more on my mind instead of my cervical problems. Maybe if I can get my head straight the rest will follow! 🙂 Wishful thinking I believe! Thank you for your caring thoughts and prayers! Enjoying your blog…your posts, each and every one are outstanding!

      • Chatter Master says:

        No apologies, no worries! 🙂 I thank you so much for your nice words about my blog. I, in turn, look forward to yours. I love your honesty and your processing all of this. I’m very encouraged by your first visit with Dr. C. I think he is right, by the way, about your humor. It makes a difference.

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