Wounded, Injured and Damaged

 Today was a rough day
 I must honestly say
Was in a horrible mood
No matter what I would do.
 
I was in pain from head to toe
Couldn’t hide it, so it easily showed
What can I do I asked my doctor with tears
Pray for a miracle is all we can do, I fear.
 
Six years of pain is a lot to take
I want to scream, I want a break
Why me, why so young
Did I do something so very wrong?
 
Even the simplest things are hard to do
Getting dressed, even tying my shoes
Legs, feet and hands swell and shake
Even for me it’s hard to take.
 
Make the pain go please medicate
I am unable to breathe and meditate
The pain is so intense and feels alive
In fact it’s one of those days I wonder if I will survive.
 
I try to sleep but there’s too much pain
No relief, it’s like I may go insane
Why do I constantly have so many thoughts
Questioning the past and what it’s brought? 
 
Dr. Liar ruined my body made it feel as if it’s at war
So much time has been lost I no longer keep score
What happened, how did I get so lost
And when I add it up, it came at a huge cost.
 
In the blog I write positive notes
Am I a fraud when I write a negative post
Not every day is full of cheer
I’d be lying and not very clear.
 
I’m wounded, injured and damaged
You just don’t see what is not bandaged
Now my heart has joined the medical list
I wonder what other problems the doctors have missed.
 
There are many who live with problems and pain
Where to turn is there anything to gain
What to do when in such distress
Who wants to listen when you are feeling depressed.
 
Medications, surgeries, PT and shots galore
I hope they help and pray for no more
Will pain always control my life
And will it always be filled with strife?
 
©My Unplanned Life and www.shakinguplife.wordpress.com 2011.
 
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About mswd

I am an individual living with a spinal cord injury. How the injury occurred, how I found out how severe my injury was and how my planned life suddenly became 'unplanned' is included in this blog. Also included is how the injury has tested my family and me. I believe you will discover it has been both a mentally and physically challenging ordeal and I learned a few lessons along the way. While I am still defining my life’s purpose since the injury, I have uncovered those who are injured, live with pain or have other obstacles to navigate are never able to escape. However, come with me as I explore ways to improve my life, learn to live with multiple neurological conditions, educate others and look for the silver lining. I believe with a little willpower, my caring family and God's guidance I will learn to forgive, hopefully forget how I was treated and dismissed by a doctor and uncover life's new purpose. I pray for painfree days and answers to questions that keep swirling through my mind. I also pray for a cure for neurological conditions and for the doctors to treat their patients with respect. Welcome to my journey. I would love to hear about yours!
This entry was posted in Depression, Disability, Don't Give Up, Dr. Liar, Meditation, Pain, Pain Management, physical therapy, Self Discovery, Spinal Cord Injury, Surgery and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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