Is Not Guilty the Same as Innocent…?

Those reading this post are likely to be surprised that I am writing about the Casey Anthony not guilty verdict in my first post following the conclusion of the trial. I have to be honest, listening to the verdicts from the court representative were difficult. First of all, my heart breaks for the little girl who lost her life and has been the focus of the media for three years. I couldn’t get the images of Caylee out of my mind. I also was shocked to see her mother celebrating her not guilty verdicts even though her daughter is dead and no one has been found responsible.  If something happened to my daughter, I would move Heaven and Earth to make sure the person who did it was found and that they faced the consequences. It would become my only purpose. If Caylee’s death was an accident or caused by Casey or a family member as many have suggested, I don’t know how you go on living with the guilt, shame and the knowledge that you had something to do with your daughter’s death be it intentional or an accident. Why does Casey get to go on living and Caylee’s life ended so soon? I guess no one said that life was fair.

While I can’t compare our medical malpractice court case to that of Casey Anthony, the neurosurgeon who hit my spinal cord and injured it — Dr. Liar, to me, is still as much a villain. While he hasn’t taken a life, he is a liar and did alter the lives of my family and me. He, too, was found not guilty for a crime where he should have been found guilty – we knew it and he knew it.  During the Casey Anthony case, I sequestered myself from the television coverage and any other information pertaining to the case since it was a constant reminder of the time we spent in court. To this day, I find it difficult to watch any television show involving court cases, lawyers, etc. I personally had my share and have constant reminders so I don’t need to watch court for enjoyment only to be reminded of how unfair our legal process has become.

During the week I heard a statement made by a media representative whom I respect and it has stuck with me. This person stated that “Casey Anthony was found not guilty of committing the crimes; however, that didn’t mean that she is innocent.” When I heard that statement I stopped in my tracks. How profound! Should I be thinking about Dr. Liar in the same way? Oh course I should!. Dr. Liar was found not guilty for damaging my spinal cord, but it didn’t mean that he was innocent. What a compelling statement! And, for someone who usually doesn’t usually follow court cases, why was I watching the news that day?  I never watch the news since it is so depressing. Was I meant to overhear that statement?  I definitely believe so!

I don’t want to write an entire post about Casey Anthony since it seems to be the only story that the media is covering. Plus, I am tired of it. People are entitled to their opinions and I respect all of them; however, all I know is there is an innocent little girl who died and someone knows more than they are saying. I also feel it speaks volumes that the jury wouldn’t stand behind its decision. To me, a jury should have to explain why they chose a particular verdict.  If the jury members were as incompetent as the jury that heard our case then I am not surprised that she was found not guilty.  I wonder if any of the jurors were hugging the defense attorneys and their assistants in the parking lot following the conclusion of the case. It wouldn’t surprise me since that is what happened once our case was over.  Or maybe they were sleeping during much of the trial.  Or could it be that the jury members just wanted to go home and be with their family members? After all, a jury is made of human beings who want to sleep in their own beds, eat dinner with their families and get back to a normal routine. They are only human.

To help me learn more about people and the way they think, I am reading a new book and came across a statement that describes people’s behavior. The statement is “the way you do anything is the way you do everything.”  To me that means if you lie about one thing, you will lie about everything.  If you are a cheater once, you will continue to cheat. That is the way that people like Dr. Liar and countless others make their way through life. They feel they are above the law and that they won’t get caught. I have never had the type of personality to think more of myself than others. In fact, I was raised to do think the opposite.  How do you become so self involved that you only care for what happens to you? I am sure there are the occasional exceptions to this rule, but I know more people who prove this to be true than the opposite. I guess that I will hang on to the hope that Casey Anthony, like OJ Simpson, won’t be able to contain her narcissist personality and will one day do something and be caught. “Leopards don’t change their stripes!”

As of today, there have been more than 14,500 views of this blog. I am very humbled that each of those views occurred whether by chance or if you just stumbled upon the blog while searching for another topic. One of the interesting aspects of the blog is I am able to see the topics readers were searching for, the search engine used and a number of other interesting ways to view how readers found the blog. Many readers have written very kind, helpful notes and tips, as well as words of encouragement. I believe what amazes me the most is that many people seem to be looking for ways to find relief from pain as well as how and when to file for Social Security Disability and, lastly, people are searching for happiness.  What that tells me is there are many unhappy people who are in pain and are unable to do our jobs for one reason or another. They are looking to the government to provide some assistance; however, the process is so complicated they don’t know where to turn.

I love that there are blogs for almost every topic and that they are refreshingly honest and straightforward. And, as I wrote previously, I am very humbled that people are looking at My Unplanned Life for answers.  I just hope that if the answers aren’t there that the readers will let me know.  I find myself turning to the internet and blogs as part of my research for medical tests, personal accounts and new and improved ways to do things. Could it be that we are teaching each other more than we are gaining from the medical community?  I always feel as if I am being rushed by many of my doctors — especially when I have a number of questions.  I definitely feel that the internet and blogs can compliment and address many unique medical situations and address concerns that a doctor may dismiss. In fact, I am still waiting to understand many of the medical tests that I had completed in June. However, I have chatted with someone via the internet who has been through something similar and was able to steer me into a new direction.

My cousin is going through a difficult medical problem and I wish I was able to transfer all the knowledge I have experienced from the past six years so that she would not have to live through the entire medical process to come to the conclusion.  Wouldn’t it be nice if I could take my brain and download the necessary factual information into her brain to help her deal with her medical crisis?  Think of the time, money and anxiety we would save ourselves.  I am quite sure that she already has the emotional component that goes along with any doctor making a mistake and covering it up…she truly dislikes him!

I thank each of you who have been reading the blog and hope that the number of views will continue to grow. I have thought about ending the blog and beginning another, but as long as there are readers — I will write. As long as there are questions — I will answer to the best of my ability and share my experiences. I feel that this journey isn’t over and I thank you for your company along the way. I need and appreciate each of you more than you know.

©My Unplanned Life and 2011.


About mswd

I am an individual living with a spinal cord injury. How the injury occurred, how I found out how severe my injury was and how my planned life suddenly became 'unplanned' is included in this blog. Also included is how the injury has tested my family and me. I believe you will discover it has been both a mentally and physically challenging ordeal and I learned a few lessons along the way. While I am still defining my life’s purpose since the injury, I have uncovered those who are injured, live with pain or have other obstacles to navigate are never able to escape. However, come with me as I explore ways to improve my life, learn to live with multiple neurological conditions, educate others and look for the silver lining. I believe with a little willpower, my caring family and God's guidance I will learn to forgive, hopefully forget how I was treated and dismissed by a doctor and uncover life's new purpose. I pray for painfree days and answers to questions that keep swirling through my mind. I also pray for a cure for neurological conditions and for the doctors to treat their patients with respect. Welcome to my journey. I would love to hear about yours!
This entry was posted in Court, Depression, Disability, Don't Give Up, Dr. Liar, Employer and disability, Faith, God, Happiness, Joy, Long Term Disability, Medical Malpractice, Medicare, Pain, Pain Management, Self Discovery, Social Security Disability, Spinal Cord Injury, Surgery, Writing and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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