What Can I Say?

What can I say to help the pain go away and for Dr. Liar to pay for the lies
and all the medical mistakes that he so easily denied?
What can I say to all who don’t know
how badly I feel and why I walk and move so slow?
What can I say when people are so mean
and on those days when I can’t get into my smaller size jeans?
What can I say when the doctor reports ‘I just don’t know’
do more tests – draw more blood – I don’t care how many times to the lab you go?
What can I say when my heart breaks
for a life I used to live and I wonder how much more I can take?
What can I say about how it feels to be a stranger
feeling nothing, feeling something, feeling as if you are in danger?
What can I say to give myself permission to move on and let go of the past
or will these feelings hang around and forever last?
What can I say to that little voice inside my head that won’t stop talking
or is it more like my injuries, my pain, my problems are simply stalking?
What can I say to thank those who have been by my side
even though I know there were times when all they wanted was to hide?
What can I say when I want to scream
just open the door, yell out loud…is this all a bad dream?
What do I say to others to show them the way
not to make the same mistakes or be led astray?
What do I say to God above when I pray at night
to heal me, help me, show me what’s right?
©My Unplanned Life and www.shakinguplife.wordpress.com 2011.

About mswd

I am an individual living with a spinal cord injury. How the injury occurred, how I found out how severe my injury was and how my planned life suddenly became 'unplanned' is included in this blog. Also included is how the injury has tested my family and me. I believe you will discover it has been both a mentally and physically challenging ordeal and I learned a few lessons along the way. While I am still defining my life’s purpose since the injury, I have uncovered those who are injured, live with pain or have other obstacles to navigate are never able to escape. However, come with me as I explore ways to improve my life, learn to live with multiple neurological conditions, educate others and look for the silver lining. I believe with a little willpower, my caring family and God's guidance I will learn to forgive, hopefully forget how I was treated and dismissed by a doctor and uncover life's new purpose. I pray for painfree days and answers to questions that keep swirling through my mind. I also pray for a cure for neurological conditions and for the doctors to treat their patients with respect. Welcome to my journey. I would love to hear about yours!
This entry was posted in Depression, Disability, Don't Give Up, Dr. Liar, Medical Malpractice, Pain, Pain Management, Self Discovery, Spinal Cord Injury, Surgery and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to What Can I Say?

  1. L Sullivan says:

    I love your poetry. I love your blog. I love tnat you are trying to “make lemonade” out of what you’ve been given. And, my friend, Iove you. Happy independence day. Happy independent you!

    • mswd says:

      Lisa ~ thank you so much for your wonderful message. I always think twice about posting my poetry, but sometimes it just comes to me and since it is raw I feel I should post it to be true to myself and any one reading. I try to ‘make lemonade’ but it is a day-to-day process. I want parts of my old life back — mixed with parts of my new life, which would be the perfect life. That sounds like a new theme for another poem or a theme for another post. Thank you for sharing your thoughts….it means so much and really does keep me writing. I miss you so much and we HAVE to get together. Love you dear friend. I have a picture of you and Kim framed and next to my favorite chair and think often about our long walks and talks. So much fun and the two of you were so good to me! Love reading all about the family so keep posting. Love to all along with hugs, hugs, hugs! XOXO

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