Overcoming Technology ~ That’s my Mom!

I am proud of my Mom for many reasons, but for purposes of this post I am concentrating on one — technology. While in her 70′s, she embraced technology and won. She learned how to use a desktop computer with all the bells and whistles, a laptop, and has now conquered an iPad. She even signed up for a Facebook account, although she hasn’t jumped in and made the commitment by adding friends or sending out status updates. She e-mails, shops, plays mind stimulating games, surfs the web, researches topics of interest, took an extensive online course and faithfully reads her daughter’s blog even after living every detail of the spinal cord injury and hearing about Dr. Liar over and over again. In fact, I believe she is one of the first to read each post once it hits the blogosphere. She even prints a copy for my technologically challenged Dad to read, who keeps a copy of each post by his recliner (since this is post 76, I should probably invest in a nice binder for his collection).

Mom and I regularly send each other e-mails regarding recipes, political humor, shopping suggestions and inspiration messages. In fact, a few days ago Mom sent me the following e-mail entitled ‘Layman’s 10 Commandments’ and when I read it, I knew I wanted to share it with the readers of My Unplanned Life. I think Mom would be proud if I could follow these commandments on a daily basis and into my 70′s. I hope as technology continues to advance I will have the ability and willingness, like Mom, to master new things, keep my mind active, and be brave enough to explore following her example. Thank you Mom…you inspire me and have been a great teacher!

Layman’s 10 Commandments:

1. Prayer is not a “spare wheel” you pull out when in trouble, but more like  a “steering wheel” directing the right path throughout.

2. Why is a car’s windshield so large and the rear view mirror so small? Because our PAST is not as important as our FUTURE. So, look ahead and move on.

3. Friendship is like a BOOK. It takes few seconds to burn, but it takes years to write.

4. All things in life are temporary. If going well, enjoy it, they will not last forever. If going wrong, don’t worry, they can’t last long either.

5. Old Friends are Gold! New Friends are Diamond! If you get a Diamond, don’t forget the Gold! Because to hold a Diamond, you always need a Base of Gold!

6. Often when we lose hope and think this is the end, GOD smiles from above and says, “Relax, sweetheart, it’s just a bend, not the end!

7. When God solves your problems, you have faith in HIS abilities; when GOD doesn’t solve your problems HE has faith in your abilities.

8. A blind person asked St. Anthony: “Can there be anything worse than losing eye sight?” He replied: “Yes, losing your vision!”

9. When you pray for others, God listens to you and blesses them, and sometimes, when you are safe and happy, remember that someone has prayed for you.

10. WORRYING does not take away tomorrow’s TROUBLES, it takes away today’s PEACE.

©My Unplanned Life and www.shakinguplife.wordpress.com. 2012.

 

‘I Know We’re Gonna Make It!’

A very dear friend sent me a beautiful song on You Tube following my Gloom, Despair and Misery post a few weeks ago. I thought it was the kindest gesture since I needed to hear this particular song. She is a dear friend who knows what to say and when to say it — always has and always will. She said in her message she had been thinking of me and my struggles since reading my post and was searching for the correct words to help ease my pain.

While in her car she heard ‘Long Way Home,’ by Steven Curtis Chapman, and the lyrics were the something “magical she was looking for to help ease your suffering.”  I could feel her love when I heard the song and knew immediately I should share the lyrics. They are the something magical I want to share with those reading My Unplanned Life.

Since beginning the blog, I have come to the conclusion each of us…no one excluded, is, was, has or will be battling some type of difficulty. It may be an illness, depression, relationship trouble or financial difficulty and the words of this song may help ease the sting of whatever you may be feeling or experiencing.  Oftentimes a song, poem, or prayer may lead to a place of peace or calmness.

I set out on a great adventure
The day my Father started leading me home
He said there’s gonna be some mountains to climb
And some valleys we’re gonna go through
But I had no way of knowing
Just how hard this journey could be
Cause the valleys are deeper and the mountains are steeper
Than I ever would’ve dreamed

But I know we’re gonna make it
I know we’re gonna get there soon
And I know sometimes it feels like we’re going the wrong way
It’s just a long way home

I got some rocks in my shoes
Fears I wish I could lose
They make the mountains so hard to climb
And my heart gets so heavy with the weight of the world sometimes

There’s a bag of regrets
My should’ve beens and not yets
I keep on dragging around
And I can hardly wait for the day I get to lay it all down

I know that day is coming
I know it’s gonna be here soon
And I won’t turn back even if the whole world says I’m going the wrong way
Cause it’s just a long way home…

And when we can’t take another step
The Father will pick us up and carry us in His arms

And even on the best days
He says to remember we’re not home yet
So don’t get too comfortable
Cause really all we are is just pilgrims passing through

Well I know we’re gonna make it
And I know we’re gonna get there soon
So I’ll keep on singing and believing what all of my songs say
Cause our God has made a promise
And I know that everything He says is true
And I know wherever we go
He will never leave us
Cause He’s going to lead us home
Every single step of the long way home

Keep on, we’re gonna make it
I know we’re gonna make it
We’re just taking the long way home

Last night while reading comments on the Essential Tremor Awareness Group (ETAG) Facebook page, I came across an update from a woman who suffers from two complex neurological conditions. ETAG is a support group, with more than 2,000 members, who choose to participate share stories, ask questions, encourage each other, etc.

The woman who posted had an appointment with her neurologist earlier in the day and was told she has Multiple-System Atrophy (MSA), a degenerative neurological disorder of the nerve cells in specific areas of the brain. This cell degeneration causes problems with movement, balance, and other autonomic functions of the body such as bladder control or blood-pressure regulation.  With the disease, the average lifespan is seven years. Almost 80 percent of patients become disabled within five years, and only 20 percent survive past 12 years.

I have never met this wonderful lady, but my heart is heavy. Yesterday, following her appointment, she had to tell her family she is going to die. I can’t imagine having that conversation. All I can do is pray, send her positive comments to lift her spirits and let her know she isn’t alone. It’s when I learn news like this when I realize how blessed I am. I still struggle with medical problems and will leave it at that. There are some things I am not ready to blog about, but will when the time is right.

When I think my problems are more than I can bear, God slaps me on the head letting me know I am one of the lucky ones. Why can’t I figure it out for myself? Why do I need a slap, a wake-up call? I am an educated person after all. I have a spinal cord injury and still have use of my legs seven years later. Talk about being lucky. And, I hope those reading this post also read the last one about my wonderful husband and the support he gives. Again… L U C K Y.

Thankfully I have continued my sessions with my psychologist and have to admit it doesn’t seem like therapy. However, he has yet to press my buttons. He still says all the right things. We are still in the honeymoon phase of our relationship. He did share during his career he has seen more than 14,000 patients. Somehow that extremely large number makes me feel better. Maybe it’s because I am not the only one seeing a shrink…which I knew, but hearing it from this extremely educated man is reassuring.

To me, I have come to the conclusion it’s all about balancing, which the shrink and I discuss. The good and the bad; the positive and the negative; counting your blessings. After all, I have said most of my adult life ‘every day is a good day — just some days are better!’ Now I am adding in a new line thanks to Steven Curtis Chapman: ‘ I know we’re gonna make it!  After all, aren’t we all in this together?

©My Unplanned Life and www.shakinguplife.wordpress.com. 2012.

uummm...

Reblogged from fixing jason:

I spent the last 2 hours reading various spinal cord injury posts. Websites, forums and medical journals provide so much information. I wanted to explain the small details of what happens when the spinal cord is injured. Every single thing in the body is affected. Things you wouldn’t even think of. Things you forgot you even have inside start to malfunction.

Read more… 347 more words

I have mentioned before about how 'us' bloggers connect. The writer of 'fixing jason' is a very special individual who blogs about her husband's spinal cord tumor. She is a caretaker, much like my husband is for me -- watching the one you love deal with a horrible injury. I enjoyed this post since we seldom 'hear' the viewpoint from a caretaker -- it's mostly about the patient, the injury and the side effects of the spinal cord injury. Once I read this post, I thought it was fitting to re-post this message, but I wanted to add a special thank you to ALL the caretakers who provide love and companionship to those with spinal cord injuries. It is not an easy job. I know in my case, my husband never misses a doctor's appointment, drives me everywhere, handles more than his share of everything and not once has he EVER complained. I am confident the same is for Jason's wife. Even though Jason and I both have spinal cord injuries, live and breathe pain, and at times have probably questioned why this happened to us -- I also, believe we are also both very blessed. Somewhere along the way we found two very special people to share our lives with who help us deal with this terrible injury. Spinal cord injury or not -- we are blessed. Some people only dream of being loved like this. We get to live it every day.

“Stick to the Fight when you’re Hardest Hit!”

Every now and then, I run across a poem, song or a wonderful piece of written material making me pause and think…”gosh, that is exactly what I was thinking!” The two below did just that for me this past week. I hope they will inspire you as they did me.

Promise Yourself 

To be so strong that nothing
can disturb your peace of mind.
To talk health, happiness, and prosperity
to every person you meet.

To make all your friends feel
that there is something in them
To look at the sunny side of everything
and make your optimism come true.

To think only the best, to work only for the best,
and to expect only the best.
To be just as enthusiastic about the success of others
as you are about your own.

To forget the mistakes of the past

and press on to the greater achievements of the future.
To wear a cheerful countenance at all times
and give every living creature you meet a smile.

To give so much time to the improvement of yourself
that you have no time to criticize others.
To be too large for worry, too noble for anger, too strong for fear,
and too happy to permit the presence of trouble.

To think well of yourself and to proclaim this fact to the world,
not in loud words but great deeds.
To live in faith that the whole world is on your side
so long as you are true to the best that is in you. ”

~ Christian D. Larson

Don’t Quit

When the road you’re trudging seems all uphill
When the funds are low and the debts are high
And you want to smile, but you have to sigh
When care is pressing you down a bit
Rest if you must, but don’t you quit.

Life is queer with its twists and turns
As every one of us sometimes learns
And many a fellow turns about
When he might have won, had he stuck it out.

Don’t give up though the pace seems slow
You may succeed with another blow.

Often the goal is nearer than
It seems to a faint and faltering man;
Often the struggler has given up
When he might have captured the victor’s cup;
And he learned too late when the night came down
How close he was to the golden crown.

Success is failure turned inside out
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt
And you never can tell how close you are
It may be near when it seems afar;
So stick to the fight when you’re hardest hit
It’s when things seem worst that you mustn’t quit.

~Author Unknown

©My Unplanned Life and www.shakinguplife.wordpress.com, 2012.

Be Counted! (even if you can't stand up)

Reblogged from thequadfiles:

Check this out!  The Christopher and Dana Reeve Foundation developed a website to count all the people living with paralysis and individuals who care about them.  Advocacy may influence policy but numbers are the agent of change.  You can visit the website here to add your name and location to the list.  If you look up Ashleigh in Phoenix, you’ll find me!

Read more… 29 more words

This is such an amazing web site...one that is hard to ignore. Even if you aren't able to place yourself or a love one on the map, please take the time to look at the sheer volume of those who are in need of help. Imagine waking up tomorrow and not being able to walk, get yourself ready for work or drive to an appointment. Imagine living with pain 24 hours a day, seven days a week, 365 days a year. It's time to make a difference. Organizations such as the Christopher and Dana Reeve Foundation, The Campaign to Cure Paralysis and SCINet are doing all they can to help increase awareness; however, it's not enough. Please spread the word by sharing the below information. Thank you for your support.

Gloom, Despair and Agony

I believe there are two types of people in the world. There are good luck people and bad luck people. Good luck people walk around with an aura of bright colors surrounding them and a spring in their step. Visual Cinderella, the birds, mice and butterflies. Now that girl had good luck. She got the prince, the fairy godmother and the glass slipper. And…she lived Happily Ever After!

Bad luck people are the ones who walk around with catcher’s mitts on both hands who are constantly in reaction mode for the next big problem to come crashing down around them…or even on them. I have decided I am definitely a bad luck person. Simply put. What can go wrong will go wrong. Or so it seems. Lately.

As a 40+ year old person (hmm), I spent time during my childhood watching one of television’s rather unique shows, even though it pains me to admit. The television show was Hee Haw and featured country music and rather unique humor. I mention Hee Haw since there was a popular song from the show that popped in my head during the past few weeks and it has been playing over and over — I am sharing the chorus.

Gloom, despair, and agony on me

Deep, dark depression, excessive misery

If it weren’t for bad luck, I’d have no luck at all

Gloom, despair, and agony on me

 

I am usually a glass half full type of person. Honest. And, for those of you who read the blog on a regular basis, know I rely on my faith, family and friends to help me through difficult times. However, this past month has been rough. It seems my medical problems take a step forward and then all of sudden something else will occur and a step forward is nothing compared to the four or five steps I am thrown back. To spare you too many details, but to be honest and open as I promised when I began this blog, I am simply tired of being sick, undergoing numerous medical procedures, going to physical therapy and seeing doctor after doctor after doctor. And,  I have had enough of the nonsense that seems to follow those on disability!

I recently received a letter from Social Security indicating I was overpaid and they would be withholding payment for the next four months. There was no forewarning or reason given. Just a form letter letting me know I would not be getting the check I was due each month for the next four months even though I was legally determined disabled by the United States government. When I contacted the “powers that be” in Baltimore, I was told there was no reason ‘stated in the system’ and they would get back in touch with an explanation promptly. Weeks passed; no response. Months passed; still no response. Fortunately, knowing the right people to contact helped ensure my checks would continue while they looked into the situation. However, I have not heard from Social Security, have never received overpayments of any type despite their claim and according to the representatives at both the local and federal level it ‘must be a mistake.’ But, this issue is still looming. I am an honest person. If I had received money didn’t belonging to me I would have reported it. It’s the federal government for goodness sake. And, it’s a moral issue.

Speaking of moral issues, while working at my past employer, I received stock options as part of my compensation package, which I recently exercised. The stock options were going to expire this year, and with the loss of my husband’s income, this additional money would benefit our household income. With the instability of the stock market, the options didn’t sell at a significant amount; but nonetheless, we were grateful for the money. To simplify this bad luck situation and how large organizations have lost touch, my employer, sent me the incorrect amount of money and instead of contacting me directly to straighten out the situation, they stopped payment on the check two weeks later. I am sure any one can imagine the nightmare this would create. Once I contacted the person responsible for the stock option program, she had no idea this had occurred. It took another week to get this ironed out. No apology, not even a message explaining the problem. Just a stopped payment check in our account. Why not a telephone call letting me know a mistake had been made? After all, the mistake was THEIRS…not mine.

What has happened to respect for others? When I worked for the company it was one of the core values. In fact, bonuses were based on living those values. I explain my recent run with bad luck since spinal cord injury and Cervical Dystonia patients are supposed to manage their stress. However, how do any of us manage stress when the world around us is filled with nothing but disrespect and organizations talking and preaching core competencies but certainly don’t live them in their daily actions with people, including our own government? Don’t get me started with filing taxes…

In addition to the Social Security and stock option fiascos, my husband is still looking for employment following being out of work for seven months. I wish those of you reading this post could meet him. If you did you would have difficulty understanding why he can’t land a job. He spends so much time looking for employment, applying, submitting his résumé via online, in person, etc. It’s a vicious cycle leaving him waiting and wondering about his abilities and background. He has extensive experience in both sales and purchasing and should have been hired by now. However, the hiring process has gotten so off track, those with the most experience and who are best suited for the positions are overlooked and replaced by those who are willing to take the positions for the lowest pay. We have also discovered that networking no longer helps in the job searching process. However, we aren’t surprised the same jobs keeps reappearing on job boards several months later. Again, it’s not rocket science to fill the position with the proper person. Why not hire a person with the most experience, pay them a bit more and in the end train them for the job once and don’t keep repeating the cycle?

In my last post I had many people wondering what type of doctor I was going to see and if I was going to have surgery. The surgery option hasn’t been decided; however, I am trying a new medication, which has some not-so-wonderful side effects, including possible hearing loss. The doctor I have added to my list isn’t one who does surgery, repairs broken bones or works in a hospital. I finally admitted I needed to up the ante. I needed a physician who understands ‘bad luck people’ like me and gives the tools to better handle the ‘junk’ life is throwing at me. I had my first appointment last week. And, while I admit I was dreading rehashing the last seven years and honestly wanting to tell Dr. C. to ‘just read my blog to get caught up,’ I found him to be refreshingly honest and knowledgeable. During the appointment I found myself setting up ground rules for our conversations, the most important being I did not want him to answer questions with a question. His response was, “I can see I’ve got my hands full with you!”

While I saw a therapist in the past, our professional counseling relationship didn’t part with the nicest of endings. Again, I wasn’t treated with respect and was hesitant putting myself and my feelings out in the open again. However, after only one appointment Dr. C. told me it was my sense of humor that has helped me and I needed to keep laughing. He admitted he heard my laugh from the waiting room to his office in the back…even over the sound machine they use to ‘drown out noise.’ Perhaps this was a poke that I needed to lower my volume or some sort of backhanded compliment. Whatever the case, I am armed with my first tool ~ sense of humor. I can see my tool box is going to be expanding and with that, I hope my luck will also be shifting.

©My Unplanned Life and www.shakinguplife.wordpress.com, 2012.

The Telephone Call

It’s all a bit overwhelming I must admit

Being the one who is always sick

The big decisions in my life

Are when or if to go under the knife

 

I smile, joke, not let others know

I keep it light by often just saying hello

It’s been so long why do I still suffer?

Or has time just made it all tougher?

 

I admit I put on a good front

Have even learned how to walk with my cane doing a few stunts

Soon to be seven years makes you an expert at so much

Even the days when I don’t want to be touched

 

Legs, arms, hands, wrist and neck are numb, swollen and stabbing

And oftentimes move around as if they were jabbing

Oh, how I want to forget, yes I do

But the constant reminders make it impossible to see it through

 

I want to scream and shout to myself…”just get over it!”

But newer medical conditions create a deeper and darker pit

I am having trouble finding happiness and joy

Even from my seven-year old nephew who is just the cutest little boy

 

I finally admitted today my pain was too big, too much for me to handle myself

And took a piece of tattered paper with a telephone number written on it off a shelf

A lady answered the call and as nice as she could be

Said “sweetheart, let’s set up the appointment, I know this doctor will help…just wait and see.”

 

©My Unplanned Life and www.shakinguplife.wordpress.com, 2012.